This Ocean, this vast, unending water source, life-giving and life-taking – it shifts something inside me. It just feels like home in a way the familiar does not. Home. It’s easy; it’s right. I never question myself here. Though I am anxious and afraid, I do not feel worthless or insignificant.
The dry land makes me feel small.
I am a free-flower and I cannot flow freely in that place. You see, water was made to move. Flowing water is life-giving water. Stagnant water stands to rot until it can once again enter the cycle of constant motion that it was made for. I am a drop in the cycle and I was made to move too. We all were. How many people enjoy feeling stuck? No, we were created for ebbs and flows, for rising and hovering, for outpouring and down pouring, for rushing and gathering, for settling and stilling, for sinking deep and spreading out, and for doing it all over and over and over.
When we surrender to this cycle, we don’t just grab hold of freedom, we become enthroned, surrounded, intertwined in freedom. Experiencing the ocean from a distance is illusive, from the beach is tantalizing, from the shallow waters is jolting – but being completely submersed in the mighty waves of the ocean is a whole different story.
You’ve already seen it in the distance with your eyes and smelled the sea-air with your nose. You’ve felt the warm sand under your toes and the cool waves lapping against your ankles. You’ve already waded out slowly, adjusting to the temperature as you went, one step at a time. But now, now you dive all the way in. And something changes as you do: you find comfort as you let your head go under. You don’t feel uneasy anymore. You feel free! The water is warmer now than it was before, you can swim and float and move freely. You can dive under the surface and feel the weight of the water hold you on all sides, gentle and light, and it actually gives you more freedom to move and do things you cannot do on dry land.
A drudging dragon on land can be a delicate dancer in the depths of the sea.
So, You are the Ocean? Yes, and so much more. You are my safe place. My shelter. My sanctuary. You are the Song of the Earth, the Quiet Stillness and the Resounding Commotion. You are the Push and the Pull, the Rise and the Fall, the Fire and the Ice. You are the Lion’s Roar and the Bird’s Chirp. You are the Expand and Collapse of a lung. You are the Captain of the ship, the Conductor of the orchestra, the Leader of the battalion. You are the Mystery and the Answer. The Truth and the Confusion. The Infinite and the Finite. You are the Allure of Beauty, the Release of Tension, the Treasure for all to find. You, My God, are the Fullness of Hope, the Abundance of Life, the Greater than I, and the Greater than all.
You see, while the enemy has relentlessly beaten me with rejection and worthlessness, the Lord has wildly and recklessly pursued me with a passionate and limitless love that defeated the impossible. His love didn’t just save my life, but gave me life. My tiny mind cannot even grasp a fraction of the greatness of the Ocean, with depths and worlds unknown to man. And the Ocean does not even contain a fraction of God’s greatness small enough for the human brain to understand. To explain God solely in terms of something measurable by man, or broken down by human intellect, is to reduce Him to crumbs.
My God is the Universe, but the universe is not My God.